Ladies And Gentlemen…

The wait is over, the pretty one is back. I know you missed me. Its been a long time, I shouldnt left you with a dope blog to step to.

To fill you in…  Obama won. I graduated from Temple with my Master’s. I moved from Philadelphia to West Palm Beach. I got a dog her name is Isis. Yeah that’s about it.

So yeah expected a more regular present from me.

-Just Tab.

Cuddle time

It’s that time of the year, where the weather begins to dip. The wind comes back and the air is full of frost. Sweater, scarves and jackets help keep us warm during the day. Which is great, because Lord knows I love sweaters and vest and all things argyle. The night time though…which is supposed to be the right time, but it’s the wrong time in the fall/winter to be sleeping alone. In my younger days I was very open with me bed, someone new every night. I had repeats of course but I did enjoy the thrill of waking up to a new face. Hey I like to spoon and cuddle.  DON’T JUDGE ME! The body heat of two (platonic) friends kept the heating bill low and me with a smile. The more the merrier, one night I had as many as five people in my bed. The world needs more cuddling. I have learned now after I have gotten older that I can’t just allow anyone and everyone in my bed. Did you know some people aren’t satisfied with just cuddling? And they want to do nasty unchristian like things to me in the bed. “Excuse me sir, just because I have on my bra and panties doesn’t mean I want to do anything. The bed is for sleeping and that’s what’s I plan on doing.” Well after a couple “miscommunications” I decided to close my open bed policy. This has left me with a dilemma, how do I keep warm on cold nights in Philly? The heating bill last winter was ridiculous $150-200 for just me! I have come up with a solution…stuffed animals. I know sounds easy right, but the key is to attach an electric heating pad to the stuffed animal. Perhaps I will even get a recording of some light snoring to lull me into dream land. This gives the feeling of another person being present in my bed, without having to explain to them we aren’t having sex.  Hopefully until I have that human touch next to me, this will do. Let’s pray the heating pad doesn’t start a fire while I am sleeping.

Good day my Tabians and I wish you very warm nights

I decided…

I move at my own speed.

My parents learn early on that I won’t do anything unless I am ready to. Until I am moved to do it.

The million ads for the upcoming election, guilt speeches, merchandise and political coverage has not swayed me or made me want to decide to vote for a candidate.

I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t moved. I didn’t care.

Not that I care now about either candidate.

But what I do care about is Black People.

I heart America.

But my blood flows for and because of Black people.

With that being said, I could not attend the Congressional Black Caucus. See thousands of black people on their grind, with their power suits and blackberry’s working for the advancement of my race. Go to seminars about the problems/solutions for the black community. What was needed in our community, what was working and what was failing? Hear my people, see my people and not wonder what I was doing to help our cause.  Be motivated by the call to arms, to fix our community.

Walk around and see the Obama pins attached to the suits, the Obama paraphernalia being sold, the Obama chants and not feel the enthusiasm of my people. I haven’t seen black people this excited and united since the OJ verdict. This is even more significant because this excitement didn’t involve the penal system.

So I decided.

I decided that if voting for this man would energize black people, instill a sense of pride and bring “hope” to my people.

That if voting for him makes some black boy believe that he can be anything in the world. That he can achieve greatness. That when a  Black parent tells their child they can be anything in the world they believe it. That if voting for Barack shows America that a functioning black family is the norm rather than the exception. If it makes one black man think about marrying his girlfriend or baby mama,  cause he wants to make her his “Michelle”, his life partner cause Barack did.

I argued that the only reason that black men supported Barack is because they saw him as an extension of their black masculinity and that it was a purely ego induced support. So what? My Black brothers have been beaten down so  much they deserve a little ego stroking, rebuild some of the confidence that was lost by the years of emasculation they endured by the popular culture. I love the pride that shines through them when they speak of Barack.

I didn’t have this crazy change of heart and suddenly become his biggest supporter. I am not fully over the Jeremiah Wright incident and the symptoms of Bitchassness, Barack displayed.

I will be honest. The size of his ears freaks me out, although I know he can’t control the size of them. I would still really like if he got them pin closer to his head.  It will be hard watching those ears on presidential addresses if he does get elected.

I don’t agree with Barack on a lot of issue. I still believe that atmosphere surrounding him is of messianic proportion. That he can’t possible do all the things that people expect and save us from the evil republicans. But if he does just 2% of what people expect, inspired just one kid, or better yet spark the mind of someone and commit them to change the world. Then that’s more than enough in my book.

I love Black people, more then I love my political affiliations. I hold Black people closer to my heart then I hold particular election issues. So if my people believe that Obama is the right man for us and the nation, that’s more than enough for me.

I won’t be difficult, I won’t be different. I choose us instead of me. So if Barrack ends up being the worse president ever, I will be ok. Because sometimes if the ship is going to sink it’s better to go down with everyone, then to be safe on the shore alone.

Everyone has their own reasons why they vote for a candidate and these are mine.

I ordered my absentee ballot.

It’s official. My vote is with Barack Hussein Obama.

He doesn’t get a free ride. He still must be held accountable for his policies and actions by the black community, the nation and even the rest of the world. We must challenge him in order to assure he stays on point. But he does get my vote.

Don’t expect me to be wearing any Obama merchandise though….

Anti-Social Behavior

One of the biggest misconceptions about me is that I’m a social butterfly. I assure you this isn’t true, just some lie put out by the left-wing media to paint me as approachable. True, the majority of the time I do have a smile on my face or I am laughing, but that’s mostly because I am making fun of people in my head or thinking something very inappropriate. This unfortunately has given me a reputation as being friendly.  Allow me to dispel this myth.

There is a wonderful piece of technology that allows me to keep my interaction with the public to a limit, while still remaining somewhat social. My blackberry. Through my blackberry I maintain contact via text messages, email, internet and most importantly the blackberry messaging to the world. I love the fact that I can respond or create emails will driving or wherever I am. Blackberry messaging allows me to share my love of making fun of the people I come in daily contact with to my friends. I can even send them pictures of the random “hot, ghetto mess” here in Philadelphia.

Lately is has become apparent that the blackberry has taken over my life. I am rapidly losing my ability to communicate with people face to face, it is so strange to interact with people who you primarily communicate through email or text messages actually speak. They have voices and all this body language, it can quite overwhelming. I barely even hear my friend’s voices, it’s always weird when they actually call me. I honestly can’t remember the last time Tamara called me or even if she has ever called me.

When friends actually are in my presence they have the tendency to become very disappointed with me. I am not as cute, charming or witty in person. Text messages allow me the opportunity to gather my thoughts and come up with a smart remark; it’s harder to do that in person when you are put on the spot. They expect me to laugh and be talkative; I barely use my voice anymore because all my communication is non-verbal (via the blackberry). Sometimes when I hear myself speaks its freaks me out, it has become such an unfamiliar sound.

The internet on my phone has also become a crutch; I get random urges to Google things during conversations. How many kids does Brad and Angelina have, what high school did Chad Johnson go to? These are important questions that need answers and through the blackberry they are only seconds away. I met a man at the club who claimed to be a football player, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to Google him and make sure his story was accurate. How can one be a proper gold digger without a blackberry?

I check facebook and myspace 145 times a day, people status updates alert me to world events.  I have found that whenever I go to a club I end up with new facebook friends. The random people who jump in my pictures all want to be tagged, so why not just add them right there in the club. I have mastered the art of texting while dancing, cleaning, eating, driving, reading, kissing and basically everything else. I text message people even while I am in their presence, it’s easier to communicate that way. There are some things easier said via text. Plus it’s a great way to share private jokes without making the butt of the joke feel uncomfortable.

I try not to discriminate but it is hard for me to even think of letting a non-blackberry user become my friend or even date me. How are we suppose to develop a healthy relationship if I can’t use blackberry messenger to see if you have read my text messages? These non-blackberry users always feel disrespected on dates when I pay more attention to my phone. A blackberry user would know that I can handle multiple tasks on my phone while engaging in a conversation with them. Also, if I am using my blackberry a considerable amount of time when I am with you, it says more about you being uninteresting then about me being rude.

The first thing I reach for in the morning is my blackberry, I have to check the messages that I missed because my dumb body needed rest. As I try and focus on my morning devotionals, in the back of my mind all I am thinking of is my blackberry. It’s compromising my devotion to baby Jesus.  I’m considering texting my prayers to him, I sound more sincere through writing.  I am proud to say that the one place that I never take my blackberry is church; I can’t even place that type of temptation in front of me. The Devil is a liar.

My blackberry has become my refuge in uncomfortable social situations, I may not know anyone in a new environment but I can always count on my blackberry messenger friends to be there for me, for them to care about my every move (JG) and talk me through these unfamiliar social settings. I spent the first 45 minutes of watching the FSU game with the Seminole Alumni Association pried to my cell phone. It had been a while since I have been around so many preppy white people, I had to readjust myself. As more of my friends get blackberrys I see the problem getting bigger. I’m about to invest in a heating pad for my hand due to the carpo tundra syndrome I am sure I am developing.

One of my favorite pastimes has become blackberry TV watching. When you live alone you want to share some of the ridiculousness that is on TV today with others, but it’s frustrating trying to watch TV and talk on the phone with friends.  Depending on what television show it is I communicate via the blackberry and text messages with 3-15 people through the course of the show. I like knowing what my friends are thinking about the show. By the end of the night my texting hand is exhausted. After faithfully watching Nancy Grace for months now and listening to her brilliant insights Tamara and I have almost found little Caylee Anthony.

I wrestled with the question; Do I really have a blackberry addiction? On the surface it appears that I might, but after taking a closer look under the surface I know the true issue. I just don’t like being in the presence of people.  Sadly, we must communicate with people in order to survive. I am using my blackberry as a coping mechanism for my social apathy disorder. The first step is admitting there is a problem, right. I admit it. I am anti-social living my life through my blackberry. Sad, I know so I am adopting several ways to fix this problem.

 

1.       No adding facebook friends in the club.

2.       When I am in a new environment, I will reach out and make new friends. No depending on my blackberry messaging friends to get me through.

3.       Call at least 2 people a week that our primary means of communication is blackberry messaging or text messaging. So that we can become comfortable with each other voices

4.       Set the blackberry to go off from 12-8 am. Less temptation.  I used to turn off my phone freshman year of college after 10:30 because no one needed to speak to me that late unless they wanted me to engage in fornication.

5.       Limit active blackberry messaging conversations to 4 at a time.

6.       Make a new friend who doesn’t have a blackberry each week.

7.       Wait at least 20 minutes into the first date to decide if the person is interesting enough to pause my blackberry usage.

 

I understand this is not going to be an easy situation to fix. I am counting on the support from the Tabians as I journey into this world with part time blackberry usage.  Sometimes even Great ones like myself have weakness, as great as I am (compared to you), I am only Just Tab!

Hello world…The Introduction

 

Instead of doing a standard about me section, I am pretending as if I’m being interviewed by some famous reporter. As you will soon see I can be quite delusional.

 

 

 

It’s such an honor to interview someone of your talent. Please introduce yourself to the readers who for some crazy reason don’t know who you are.

 

My name is Tabitha, but you can call me Tab or Tabby. I have been called (mostly by myself) The Greatest of All Time, Dat Pretty Pretty Gurl and The Great one.

 

I know being “Pretty” can be a full time job but what else do you do?

 

Do? Oh you mean as in work! Currently I mooch off my parents and the Federal Government, while attending Grad School at Temple. It sounds bad, but I promise I’ll get a job eventually.

 

Your parents should count it an honor to provide for their beautiful adult daughter. Since you have no 9-5 what is it that you do with your time?

 

Well, I really enjoy walks in the park; especially now when the weather is so nice. I like to read, my favorite genre is autobiographies/memoirs. My favorite author is Alice Walker. One of my biggest vices is reality television, can’t live without it. Some of my favorite shows are Bridezillas, G’s to Gent, Flippin out, Real World, Nancy Grace and the list goes on. I also enjoy staring at myself in the mirror, its hard to believe how good looking I am sometimes. I love Football especially FSU football and any time Terrell Owens playing. I spend a lot of time fantasizing about when Oppie (Oprah) and I will first meet.

 

Many of today’s youth have named you as their fashion icon. How would you describe your style?

 

I don’t think I have just one style, I go through different phases and my clothing reflects that. Most people would describe my style as preppy; I’m a sucker for any kind of collar shirts, sweater vests ad argyle. I do frequent the men and the little boys sections as well as the woman section. I describe the look derived from those sections as “gay boy chic”. If I am wearing male clothing, they musy be fitted, not into really baggy clothes. I try to make sure I throw on earrings, purse and lip gloss. I also like the rock star look: studded belts, skinny jeans and dunks or chucks. White “V” neck tees are a must have, have to keep a fresh tee around. I love to wear dresses, really short ones or long flowy ones. I am not really a big fan of girls shorts, unless they are kind of long. I hate to see people in really tight short shorts. Skirts or cool. But I prefer mini-skirts, if I am going to wear them. But mostly I just wear whatever I feel like. My favorite look is me directly after I come out of the shower or lotioning up, sadly you can’t walk around naked without being arrested.

 

Of course, the question on everyone minds, including me (wink, wink) …What’s your relationship status?

 

Single!

 

That should make people happy. Are you presently looking?

 

Not at all. I am really chilling. It would be nice to have some one to hold hands with on my walks in the park. Other than that I am good. But hey, who knows! Really, What I am looking for is a good boy who likes boys, they are the best.

 

But lets just say I’m also open.

 

Why are you doing a blog?

 

Mostly cause I have nothing better to do. Plus the fans demand it.

 

What should the dedicated fans (The Tabians) as well as the casual worshippers of your greatness expect to read in this blog?

 

A whole lot of bad writing and grammar. Ego stroking. Self-absorption and cockyness. Irrelevant looks at current events and politics. Gripping about reality television. Ignorant and culturally insensitive statements. Black Pride. A little preaching and a whole lot of venting. But most all of it will be Just Tab!

 

Thanks again for agreeing to do this interview with me. This was certainly the highlight of my career.