When the village fails…

“I grew up with them boys, they don’t deserve to be in jail for all them years. She made it up, It never happen”. The young baby face boy who had only been in high school for a couple of weeks were referring to the crimes that occur summer 2007 in Dunbar Village, a housing project where he grew up and currently resides. The boys were his friends, people he had known all his life. The immigrant Haitian woman and child who lives were torn apart due to these boys were inconsequential in his world, the only meaning they have were that they were the ones who took his friends away. His statement resolves all guilt from the young men and their actions, while placing the blame solely on the victim. Swallowing hard I look deep into the eyes of this young man, who was the same age of some of the assailants of the crime who ages ranged from 13- 18 years old. Was I looking at somebody who could have possibly participated in these crimes? When hearing about the horrific crime that occurred in Dunbar Village and the number of assailants, one can’t help but wonder why didn’t any of the 10 males try and stop the crime or even turn themselves in? How can anyone be a part of the sadistic actions that were committed? Someone had to be a voice of reason; someone had to know that this was wrong and needed to be stopped. Perhaps the blame lay on the assailants intoxicated state or the momentum of the crime along with mob mentality. But this young man was sober and alone and didn’t see the guilt that lay in the young man’s hands.  This boy was has long reached the point in his life where he can differentiate between right and wrong. He has a mother, sister and according to him a girlfriend would he be ok with someone commenting the same atrocities on them. This boy who sees nothing wrong with a brutal attack on a woman and her child, only sympathizing with the assailants, he is sadly like so many in our community. When this story first broke, a certain level of disgust and outrage is expected from the residents of the community, but there was none instead there was anger from the news coverage of the crime. “So a lady was raped. Big deal,” resident Paticiea Matlock said with disgust. “There’s too much other crime happening here.” (AP, 2007) How a woman could declare the rape of another woman no big deal? How could she not feel for another human being that shared her same neighborhood? Where was the empathy for a fellow poor, black woman in America?

Dunbar Village is a neighbor jaded by experiences of poverty, crime, murder and rape. The stories of the people in this housing project are share a theme of hurt, betrayal and abandonment. Their voices and pain often overshadowed by the pretty beaches and bright Florida sun, angry because it takes a brutal rape for people in their city, state, country and world to know that they are there, that they are hurting. So they will stand and try to protect their boys and the name of their community because even if it means disregarding the pain inflicted on this poor Haitian immigrant woman and her son.

2 years later four of the ten men have been convicted of the crime, with more arrest still to come. Dunbar Village now has better security including a working gate and surveillance camera. Plans are under way to destroy the 60 year old housing complex in hopes to build a safer affordable housing community. Sadly the wounds are still present in the victim and the community has or will ever get over this crime. When there are a thousands of community similar to Dunbar Village, who residents lack the same access to opportunity, share in the epidemic of fatherless children, drugs and crime run rampant all making for the perfect conditions to create children to inflict this type of terror on their communities; What do you do to stop this from ever happening again. What is our responsibility in this? What are you going to do?

-Just Tab…but hopefully inciting just the change this world needs.

*I purposely didn’t go into the exact crimes that were committed in order not to glorified or inflict any more pain on this woman and her family then needed. For more information on the crimes you can visit http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/content/local_news/epaper/2009/08/28/0828dunbar.html*

I decided…

I move at my own speed.

My parents learn early on that I won’t do anything unless I am ready to. Until I am moved to do it.

The million ads for the upcoming election, guilt speeches, merchandise and political coverage has not swayed me or made me want to decide to vote for a candidate.

I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t moved. I didn’t care.

Not that I care now about either candidate.

But what I do care about is Black People.

I heart America.

But my blood flows for and because of Black people.

With that being said, I could not attend the Congressional Black Caucus. See thousands of black people on their grind, with their power suits and blackberry’s working for the advancement of my race. Go to seminars about the problems/solutions for the black community. What was needed in our community, what was working and what was failing? Hear my people, see my people and not wonder what I was doing to help our cause.  Be motivated by the call to arms, to fix our community.

Walk around and see the Obama pins attached to the suits, the Obama paraphernalia being sold, the Obama chants and not feel the enthusiasm of my people. I haven’t seen black people this excited and united since the OJ verdict. This is even more significant because this excitement didn’t involve the penal system.

So I decided.

I decided that if voting for this man would energize black people, instill a sense of pride and bring “hope” to my people.

That if voting for him makes some black boy believe that he can be anything in the world. That he can achieve greatness. That when a  Black parent tells their child they can be anything in the world they believe it. That if voting for Barack shows America that a functioning black family is the norm rather than the exception. If it makes one black man think about marrying his girlfriend or baby mama,  cause he wants to make her his “Michelle”, his life partner cause Barack did.

I argued that the only reason that black men supported Barack is because they saw him as an extension of their black masculinity and that it was a purely ego induced support. So what? My Black brothers have been beaten down so  much they deserve a little ego stroking, rebuild some of the confidence that was lost by the years of emasculation they endured by the popular culture. I love the pride that shines through them when they speak of Barack.

I didn’t have this crazy change of heart and suddenly become his biggest supporter. I am not fully over the Jeremiah Wright incident and the symptoms of Bitchassness, Barack displayed.

I will be honest. The size of his ears freaks me out, although I know he can’t control the size of them. I would still really like if he got them pin closer to his head.  It will be hard watching those ears on presidential addresses if he does get elected.

I don’t agree with Barack on a lot of issue. I still believe that atmosphere surrounding him is of messianic proportion. That he can’t possible do all the things that people expect and save us from the evil republicans. But if he does just 2% of what people expect, inspired just one kid, or better yet spark the mind of someone and commit them to change the world. Then that’s more than enough in my book.

I love Black people, more then I love my political affiliations. I hold Black people closer to my heart then I hold particular election issues. So if my people believe that Obama is the right man for us and the nation, that’s more than enough for me.

I won’t be difficult, I won’t be different. I choose us instead of me. So if Barrack ends up being the worse president ever, I will be ok. Because sometimes if the ship is going to sink it’s better to go down with everyone, then to be safe on the shore alone.

Everyone has their own reasons why they vote for a candidate and these are mine.

I ordered my absentee ballot.

It’s official. My vote is with Barack Hussein Obama.

He doesn’t get a free ride. He still must be held accountable for his policies and actions by the black community, the nation and even the rest of the world. We must challenge him in order to assure he stays on point. But he does get my vote.

Don’t expect me to be wearing any Obama merchandise though….

Election Confession

I have a confession to make. I have never voted and I don’t have this overwhelming desire to vote. This might be the politically incorrect sentiment to have but its how I feel. The last time I remember voting for anything was homecoming election 2006 and I can’t even tell you who I voted for then. I can assure you it was somebody black and that they didn’t win. Before you judge and tell me how people fought and died for my right to vote.  Let me first explain how I have tried to vote.

Election 2004, was the first election that the majority of my friends were allowed to vote in. Unfortunately due to the fact that I was a young buck I had yet to meet the required age to vote. That didn’t stop me from participating in all the get out the vote rallies, mostly because they gave away free food and those cool “November 2″ shirts in fun colors. I even volunteered to campaign for a candidate. I worked in a 4 hour shifts delivering upside down M stickers and posters to people in Tallahassee who were registered with the party that this candidate was affiliated with. I attended Black Student Union events while wearing the upside down M shirt. Whenever I was approached about why I was campaigning for this particular candidate, I assured my fellow African-Americans that I wasn’t of age to vote so it didn’t really  matter who I was campaigning for. I wasn’t voting for him, or anyone else for that matter. This spared me some of the “traitor to your race” speeches.  It felt good to be part of a national campaign even if I was one of 2 African-Americans I saw at the Florida campaign headquarters, and the fact that this political party paid $50 for 4 hour shifts of delivering merchandise to already hyped supporters made the feeling even better. I remember visiting one particular house and the family was so grateful that there was young people helping to get this particular candidate elected they formed a prayer circle and we prayed. Hey, I’m never going to say no to a good prayer, I need all the prayer I can get. Well, fortunately or unfortunately for some this candidate managed to win the presidential election.  I went to a couple of the events for young people in this political party but didn’t really do much after.

I finally got around to registering to vote around Sept 2006. I needed a replacement license and the guy at the counter asked me was I registered. It seem as good as time as any to register, when I registered I used my permanent/ parents address. I do plan on living with them, when I finish school. They happen to be the best roommates I ever had and I don’t have to pay rent. Yes sir, I will be that 55 year old living with the folks, bringing dates into my childhood room and even vacationing with them.  My dad sent me my voter registration card but I never got it. Dan US mail. I asked for an absentee ballot since I was still in Tallahassee to vote in the Governor election. Never got it.  Didn’t stress it, the candidate I was going to vote for won anyway.  When I finally moved back to Palm Beach (Did I mention the roommates/parents  also buy grocery and cook) I never put in the effort to get a new voter registration card or pay enough attention to home town politics to be incited to vote in the city election.

Fast forward to 2008 and the primary election hype, by this time I had temporarily left my parents abode to continue my education in the city of Philadelphia. I was still registered to vote at my parent’s house in West Palm Beach (I’ll be back soon mommy and daddy).  Florida never does anything the easy way and decided to move up their primary election to play a more prominent role in the nation primary season. This moved was not approved by the Republican or Democratic National parties and Florida delegates were taken away as a punishment. People half heartedly campaign in Florida. The Republicans ended up giving Fl half of their delegates, but the controversy regarding the delegates gave me an excuse why I didn’t request an absentee ballot. My vote wasn’t going to count. Plus it was just a primary.

I lived in Pennsylvania, a state that became a huge battleground state for the Democratic Party. I could have registered to vote here and switch party affiliation to be a part of “history”, but truthfully I had no interest in being consider a resident of the state of Pennsylvania and was not yet ready stop being Floridian. 

I am interested in politics, yet I’m indifferent to the candidates. I watch all the news shows, read the articles and learn all I can about the election. Yet, I wasn’t and haven’t been moved to support any particular candidate. I am watching the political race like it’s a reality show, “Who want to be President of the United States of America” grand prize an all expense paid trip to the White House, your choice of sexy interns, and access to Air Force 1.  I think my friends are annoyed about how entertained I am yet, emotionally unattached to this race. My friend who lives in Atlanta, pledge Delta and major in business who shall remain unnamed refuses to engage in any political conversation with me that don’t involve which candidate we want to have sex with. My lack of enthusiasm for the election is in direct contrast to this fashionable support of Obama, The shirts, pins and music videos. I think I am going to start a line of Obama condoms “I HOPE this chick don’t get pregnant”  or “Before you CHANGE the way that chick walks strap one of these on” or “Don’t use this and your life will be CHANGED in 9 months” as slogans. I am glad Hillary is out of the election, she is the only one I vehemently opposed. So I can just chill and watch the show. I mean how much difference is an Obama presidency versus a McCain Presidency. Don’t answer. I know that’s horrible, this position is the leader of the free World. It’s very important task with a lot of power. The person elected is the face of our country for four years. How dare I claim to be a student of history and a graduate student in African-American studies and not particular care who wins and actually say that they are both equal? Come on, Tab have some racial pride and support the first Black President. The economy is in the tank and all the Bush administration fault, right? It’s horrible that I know in years to come I’m going to have to lie about my support of Obama so I can seem down with the cause.

Indifference is a horrible thing, when you just don’t care it’s a lot harder for someone to convince you to support a candidate then when you have one you are passionate about. Honestly, I feel kind of jealous that I don’t have this urge to cry when Obama speaks or feel this pride that all my friends feel. Palin being a woman, who manages her family and still lives out her own ambitions doesn’t inspire me as a woman to believe I can do it all. McCain being old does make me excited about being young and wasting away my life, because if he can run for president at 72 I can wait until I am 35ish to actually start with my life plan. People are living crazy long! I am grateful to the many people who fought and sacrificed to give me the choice on whether or not I can exercise my right to vote. Being both black and a woman, voting is a right many people didn’t believe I deserved.

But don’t rule me out just yet. There is seven weeks left until the Presidential Election plenty enough time for me to gain passion. To get behind a candidate and truly feel a part of the democratic process, to feel a part of history. To not have to lie to my children about my role in this historic election. At the end of the day this is the ultimate reality show, this person will be a part of our nation’s story forever. At the end of the day there is no funny reunion show, no sequel or a spin off show. This is real life and it’s time for me to stop being entertained and become engaged in the political process.

What better election then this to cast my first vote?

Michelle, the Greatest?

 

I must place a disclaimer on this. I am not a hater…that much…anymore…

If you want to know what people are thinking just check facebook statuses. Last night the general consensuses was Michelle Obama was the greatest Black woman to ever breathe, every girl wanted to be her and every boy wanted to be her husband. I received text messages “Did you see Michelle’s speech”. Um no, I planned to. I really did. I turn on the television and all the pre-speech hype was getting annoying and not helping my already pissy moved. I just wanted to hear the woman speak and not commentators talking about what she might say. I turned off the television.

Sidebar: Did anyone see how BET covered the speech with Cousin Jeff, trying to pretend that it was a legitimate news channel?

Anyway, thanks to the wonders of On Demand by Comcast I got to watch the speech today. This is of course after the speech was hyped up by the commentators and my facebook groupies (friends) to be the greatest speech ever. I mean people claimed they cried over this thing.

The speech begins with her being introduced by her older brother, who shares those eerie sleepy eyes of hers that freak me out. He goes on to give cute childhood stories and how their family is the American Dream. Whatever, not impressed.

Michelle enters to give her speech to some great music. Her dress is fitting her well, showing her great shoulders. Her hair look phenomenal, someone actually convinced her to throw some perm on those edges. Even I can’t say anything negative about her appearance. Her speech was good, I guess. She got her point across, she doesn’t hate America, she loves Barrack, she is the American dream, she struggled, they are just like middle-America, and you should elect her husband. I guess her antidotes were cute and moving. I actually kind of feel bad I wasn’t moved by her speech like the rest of black America. Every radio station was biging her up like she was some black female savior.

“And as I tuck that little girl and her little sister into bed at night, I think about how one day, they’ll have families of their own. And one day, they – and your sons and daughters – will tell their own children about what we did together in this election. They’ll tell them how this time, we listened to our hopes, instead of our fears. How this time, we decided to stop doubting and to start dreaming.”

I swear she was talking to people like me when she said that. Because I am not sure how I feel about this hope thing. I am so afraid of Blacks and Americans putting so much hope in these people and being let down. They can’t possible live up to the hype around them. At the end of the day, they are politicians trying to get elected. I got caught up in “greatness” of Obama speech after the Rev. Wright controversy; he could no more disown Rev. Wright as he could the black community. Well he did, when the going got tough. I wish I could stop doubting and believing but it’s going to take more than a cute couple and two cute little girls to make me believe in this change. Sorry, I am not yet a believer. At the same time, I am so protective of them; I talk so much crap about them. I am the first to critique them, but don’t let Fox News, or anyone else talk about how unpatriotic and un-American she is, I am ready to fight. At the end of the day she is my sister and he is my brother. I can talk about them, but don’t anyone outside of the family try them.

I guess we shall see if this change is really possible.

Last thing is it just me or does it look like Michelle has tobacco or something in her mouth whenever she speaks.