What up Doc!

12 Aug

I hate going to the doctor. It freaks me out, I start believing I have some crazy aliment or they are going to tell me I’m going to die…tomorrow! Doctors are such freaks always poking people with needles, making me pee in cups and take off my clothes. It’s never a pleasant experience. Last year, my heart was nearly broken when my mother informed me that my pediatrician would no longer see me. I felt like a rejected lover, I thought me and this doctor had a bond, we had been together since I was born. Yes, I could no longer fit into the chairs at the office and kids keep asking me “Where’s your kid”, not knowing I was the patient. But I was comfortable at the pediatrician; they gave out smiley face band-aids, lollipops and I could catch up on the latest issue of “Highlights” magazine. It was hard letting go of this part of my life, but I figured that I did just graduate from college I should probably go to an adult doctor.

I had a funny feeling about my new doctor, some thing about the fact that my mom, dad, grand mom, grand dad and brother went to her didn’t sit well with me. My biggest concern was that she was a black woman ( I am not a hater, I love Black woman, When I grow up I’m going to be a Black women); it would be like talking to my mom/grand mom about personal issues. Weird. I feel like black woman are always judging me. Well the first time I went to see her, it was ok. I even overlooked the fact that I got a plain Band-Aid with no cartoons after they stole my blood for “samples”.

Fast forward to today. My second annual check up with this lady. The standard questions, whatever. She asks me what I am doing about my acne, and how great my skin used to be! (Damn, Damn, Damn Philadelphia for mutilating my beautiful face) That put me on edge, I’m a bit sensitive about my new found skin issues. But nevertheless I am still PRETTY. Then she asked me why I kept my hair low. “Because I am lazy, it’s easy”. This set homegirl off on this “Don’t you know that hair is a woman’s glory, you shouldn’t cut your hair, even a fro is better then that”. Really!!!!!! This my dear Tabians, would never happen if I went to a white doctor. Never. I told her I never know what to do with my hair when I grow it out. She replied “Wash it and pray about, God will tell you what to do with it”. In my mind I was thinking “(Female dog) did you just tell me to pray about my hair!” Again, one of the reason I hate that she is also the entire family doctor, she knows my dad is a pastor, so I stay calm and just nod and smile. I thought she was done. Then she decided to tell me “Because, really you look like a boy. If you weren’t so cute in the face I would think you were a boy, but boys aren’t that cute. You look like a boy from behind.” REALLY!!!!

  1. How does she know that “the boy look”, wasn’t the look I was going for.
  2. She obviously missed the donk in the back and the breast in the front. No one really was going to think I’m a dude.
  3. I wasn’t even wearing boys clothes, this wasn’t “gay boy chic” day. It was casual Tab day.  I was wearing fitted red khakis, a white polo tee, earrings and a purse.
  4. Did I ask her for her opinion about my hair?


Black people and their inappropriateness. We feel the need to get into everybody business. When I was in high school my assistant principal prayed for me in her office, to rid me of the spirit of anger that was invading my soul. I do appreciate the non-traditional approach, but is it just me or was this doctor lady completely out of line? I had never had a woman tell me I needed hair as my crown of glory. I expect that from the ignorant male ministers in church but not my doctor.


Please believe this is my last visit with home girl. I am sticking with white doctors who stay the HELL out of your fashion choices.


But the story has a good ending. She irrigated my ears…yeah they were a little backed up thanks to Q-tips. I can actually hear now!!! No more “Huh” or “You said what”.


I’m going to keep my hair short for as long as I want and I’m going to keep being JUST TAB!


Posted by on August 12, 2008 in Them Black people


Tags: , , ,

8 responses to “What up Doc!

  1. AB

    August 13, 2008 at 1:09 am

    This is funny and so rude (on her part, not yours). But remember, not all Black female doctors are that nosy. In 3 years, I’ll be one of those “doctors,” but I’ll keep my nosiness limited to friends and associates thereof.

  2. kris10

    August 13, 2008 at 3:17 am

    f*ck her

  3. JG*

    August 13, 2008 at 1:08 pm

    LOL soooo….she said you looked like a boy. You should have flashed her your VAG and been like “does THAT look like a boy!? Take that!! Ya like that?!” All would have been well, and this blog would have been that much more funny.

  4. Mo

    August 14, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    Yo, she is straight up trippin’! Familial knowledge doesn’t give you license to say and do as you please! Straight trippin’! You should have put her in her place–because she needs to be put in check for that foolishness! Your physical appearance does not define who you are…duh (female dog LOL)!

  5. Hubert

    August 15, 2008 at 1:35 am

    First, what is a 2nd annual visit? You should have known from that point chick was off, annual means ‘1’

    Second, you should have been your usual self, with a little of me added in, and told her off. She would have just had to fill in the family on their next visits what happened.

    Third, Hair does not equal glory, it’s the person. What relaxer is she using that allows her to sit on her Heavenly Follicle Throng?!?

    Fourth, I say make the next appointment, wear a weave, and curse her out. So much for ‘glory’ in hair then….

  6. Carmen

    August 15, 2008 at 6:37 am

    GIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRL…. i am in my kitchen ROLLING… you are OUTTA CONTROL! my question is- how was her hair styled? cause i know she prolly has split ends like a bih

  7. w. d. lilly

    August 16, 2008 at 1:06 am

    . . . yeah . . . she was a dumb ass . . . but i wouldn’t project here dumb-assness to other competent African American doctors . . . keep searching . . .

  8. meow

    August 20, 2008 at 5:00 am

    oh man i love jg’s comment lolll
    well tab, the fag look looks real good on you. oyu know i’d hit it


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