Monthly Archives: May 2011

What I Know For Sure

As I was cleaning off an old computer and copying my files to my external hard drive. I came across a folder located on the computer filled with things I had written: poems, old blogs and random writings. Surprisingly, or not so surprisingly I wrote a lot of random things about Oprah. About particular episodes, random poems about her and just randomness. 

On May 28, 2007 I wrote this list inspired by Oprah. If you read her magazine you know that she ends ever issue with a short essay called “What I Know For Sure.” So here is the list that I wrote 4 years ago when I was 20 years old.  

What I know for sure….

That tears don’t compromise my strength

That forgiving is much harder than hating

I don’t need a man

Or woman

There is no one person I need in my life

And if there is someone I need they will never walk away

That only the love of God is unconditional

That George W. Bush doesn’t hate black people

That I am inspired daily by multiple sources to be the best

That I will miss you even if we never met

That dreams do come true

That it is a blessing and never a curse to be a black woman in America

That nothing last forever

That failure has never been an option

That you will always be in my heart

That he will never call when he says he will

That you can never place your trust in people

That white people are the best drinking partners you can have

That marriage is an overrated institution

That monogamy doesn’t equal marriage

That if anyone ever hurts you, I will make it my business to make sure their days on this earth are numbered

That I am not a feminist 

But I do have womanist thoughts and ideals

The fact that I would have sex with Oprah does not make me gay…

I am a republican we do it for the money

That broken hearts can always be mended by being around those who loved u first

No one can accept me for who I am until I first accept myself

That God sent his only son to die for me

That I look pretty damn good naked

That there is no one person we are put on the earth for

That boys lie

But girls lie better

That courage means being afraid but doing it anyway

That I prefer kisses to my thighs over kisses to my checks

I hate hand holding in public or in private

That books and the pursuit of knowledge is my Sun that allows me to grow

That I will never be the Greatest Of All Time but I will be pretty darn close

That I love my mommy and daddy

And I will do most anything for my nephews and nieces to succeed

That prayer has gotten me thus far

Faith will get me the rest of the way

That I enjoy dancing naked in my room

That I am not vain I just like the reflection of myself

That I know when someone is the real deal when I see reflections of God in them

That I have a hard time opening up and trusting people

That Terrell Owens likes black woman

That Jada and Will are swingers and given the chance I would join them

That the best is yet to come

The majority of the list I stand by. I would like to rescind the comment about being a Republican; I am not sure who I was referring to with the “you” on several entries to the list and I am surprised that even then I was not a fan of marriage. One major change is I LOVE holding hands now, I am way more affectionate in every way. I am still down with the nudity. Ask my parents and neighbors.  I find it quite sad that I still have MAJOR issues trusting people. That I continue to have a pessimistic attitude towards the relevance and importance of people and friendships. This is a problem, something I need to work on. Easier said than done.

 However, I would probably not make this type of list again. The one thing I know for sure now is that I know nothing for sure. Everything changes. One of the values of the Oprah brand is that it encourages one to look at their self, self-reflection is key to one’s growth. When I wrote this I was sure about so many things, I had my life pretty much planned. There were list of things that I did not do and would never dare to try. When ask to do anything that was on my list of no-nos I would reply “Tabitha does not do that, that ain’t my life.” Somehow life has a way of shifting everything that you know for sure. So as I face a chapter in my life without the security of knowing Oprah will be found Monday-Friday from 4-5 pm EST, I am challenging myself to reflect and embrace change in other areas of my life. There are very little things that I know for sure and I am ok with that.

Tomorrow is the final episode of The Oprah Show. Expect a post that more adequately deal with Oprah and her impact following the airing of the show.

~Just Tab


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Look back. Look forward. Spring & Summer ’11

Last Saturday I submitted my last paper of the first year of my doctoral program. The previous Thursday I was informed that I passed my qualifying exams and I was being “invited” back for a second year- Suffice to say I am a 2nd year PhD student. As lovely as that is to type, it does little for my dating life.

Let’s get into the recap of my life since January.

I have always hated bras. They are uncomfortable and restricting. I have gotten resized, change brands and they are still the most uncomfortable things ever. I constantly take them off the moment I can, sometime in class, at friends’ houses or my car. This leads to me finding them at very random places. Since I could never keep them on for long, I decided to stop wearing them this year. It has worked out pretty well. Of course, I wear bras to church, special occasions and to work out. Other than that I stay bra-free. I have to say it’s pretty liberating and since I have issues with buttoning up my shirt all the way I have been told it’s pretty hot as well. Most times people can’t tell unless I want them to, I have discovered button downs makes it pretty unnoticeable. At first it felt pretty awkward teaching a class or something minus a bra, now it has become pretty much the norm. However, it has yet to become the norm for my mother “Tab, you are still not wearing a bra?!?!?” I have also become increasingly aware of cold temperatures in rooms for obvious reasons. I am starting a movement, spend more braless. Get free. Of course, this might be easier for me because of again obvious reasons.

As of March I have been a vegan- no animal products at all. Why? It’s a combination of a couple things- The influence of my vegan friend Nitty, Oprah doing a show on vegans, needing something to give up for Lent and a personal challenge. So instead of doing it for 40-days, I decided to do it for 3 months. It’s been good, not as bad as my pork loving self would have thought. I have discovered the joys of Ethiopian food, reading food labels, and quinoa among other things. I am actually kind of sad to have it end in a couple of weeks. I have decided to be vegan during the school year because I think it makes me more energized.  Plus, I like feeling superior to carnivores…”Oh, I am vegan.” My parents wants to get down with the vegan train…I am turning everybody out. Come on, Atira. Do it!

Also since March I have started kickboxing class. Before this it’s been a couple years since I have worked out, mostly because it’s boring. Kickboxing has been the most intense and fun workout I have ever had. I normally stop working out when I feel sweat forming; now I leave kickboxing now drenched.  It also doesn’t hurt that my instructor Jordan is one of the sexiest white man I have ever seen.

Oh yeah, school. It’s challenging to say the least, but no complaints. I signed up for it. I really could not have made it through the semester without the musical styling of Nicki Minaj, Sugarland, Lupe Fiasco, Kirk Franklin and B. Slade. My long distant PhD buddies Don and Al. My AZ PhD buddy Asantewa and our Sunday study dates aka Black power summit sessions. Gchats with Tasha and Kali. Trinty UCC Sunday service webcast. My parents and my lil brother Jeremiah. Of, course Jesus the Christ. Randomly, Asantewa and I started going around campus, finding Black people and having them throw up the Black power sign. I also participated in the ASU undies run, which basically involved me running around campus in my underwear for charity.God loves a cheerful giver I hear.

I was blessed to see Bill T. Jones, Maya Angelou and Angela Davis speak this semester.

But that is old news, the Spring semester is over. We are on to the SUMMER, the most amazing time of the year.

  1. Read. A lot. I have some book reviews to write. 50 plays to read in preparation for my comprehensive exams. Theory to learn. Hopefully squeezing in pleasure reading.
  2. Writing. I have some conference papers to finish/write. But I have also started a letter writing campaign. Basically I am sending letters/ postcards to my friends, family and strangers- whoever gives me their address. The majority of the mail we receive are either bills or advertisement- trying to change that. If you want a letter send your address to my e-mail. I am bringing back snail mail, saving the Post Service…all in a day’s task.
  3. Travel. In June I will be leaving Florida to travel to Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador and Nicaragua for about a month. Coming back to Florida for a bit then heading back to Arizona. Doing some road trips to California. Also, flying to Chicago before school starts again. Which you will all be hearing about extensively…
  4. Love. Mostly life and family. Flirting with strangers and friends. Breaking hearts and all that jazz. Shout out to single mothers who love Tab.

And there you have it. A Spring recap and a Summer preview.

~Just Tab.


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