I need a moment.

12 Feb

I have class tomorrow (Yes, on a Sunday). I haven’t started on the readings and I still have to finish my report.

My Take-home exam, which is the last part of my comprehensive exam is due Monday. I am not done.

But I can have moment?

I need a moment.

Flashback to Spring of 1999. Orlando, Florida. Islands of Adventure had just opened and all the 8th graders were there. I was in 7th grade and we went to Wet N’ Wild.

I was tall and skinny. Braces and glasses. Whatever tragic hair style I had was made even more tragic by the chlorinated activities of the day.

It was the end of the day and I had already changed my clothes to go back home. I was wearing my addidas break-away pants and a reebok mock turtle neck. Again this was Spring time in Florida at a waterpark. But I knew the bus ride to Palm Beach would be cold so I wanted to dress in preparation for that.

Somewhere I hear that Whitney Houston is in the park. There were tons of celebs at Island of Adventure, I guess she just came over to the waterpark.

I took off running all around the park looking for her. Again long sleeves and long pants running around a waterpark. I looked a bit odd.

When I finally found her she had just got off a water slide and her body guards was telling everyone to back up.

I remember looking at her and asking could I have a hug.

She probably felt sorry for skinny nerdy kid who was clearly over dressed for the waterpark. She motioned for me to come to her and she hugged me.

I said something like “Is this real or have I died and gone to heaven?” Corny. I know. She smiled and said it was real and let me go.

I rushed to the payphone to call everyone I knew (collect) and tell them about meeting Whitney.

It always meant so much to me that she took the time to give me hug that random day at the water park.

Summer 2008 was a hard one on me for many reasons. I would watch The Bodyguard every Saturday night for weeks and cry. There was so much emotion inside of me and I wasn’t able to release it any other way. Watching Whitney gave me an excuse and outlet to cry. I could pretend like the pain I was feeling was because of the movie.

I have always stated that she is the best singer turned actress- Waiting Exhale- shit The Preacher’s Wife is the best Christmas movie ever. I just brought it for a friend who had never seen it. I can’t wait to see her sparkle in Sparkle.

I love Whitney and I protect her. I admire her strength, weakness and her complexity.

A couple months ago I was feeling really down and a friend sent me “You We’re Loved” and I remember bawling. At the very basic level we all want to know that we are loved. That we mean something to someone. I struggle with knowing that I am loved and being able to receive love from others. I am sure this feeling of being worthy of love and admiration from others is something Whitney struggled with as well.

Whitney, you are loved. You have touched my heart. I appreciate the totality of the person you are. I will not let anyone disrespect your memory because of your struggles.

I am going to get back to work now.

But I needed a moment.

~Just Tab


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