Monthly Archives: November 2010

Thanksgiving. 2010.

Thanksgiving is a holiday that means little to me. I have no particularly fond memories of the day. My childhood memories are all blurred together by weeklong travels to Ft. Pierce so my parents could participate in the East Florida Primitive Baptist Association Convention. As a child that meant attending church services after church services, always on the prowl for another child to befriend. To pass notes with. Anything to stay awake during those long sermons that all merged into one. Thanksgiving dinner was usually shoved in between two of the monotonous services. Always carefully eating not to soil whatever pretty little dress I had on.

The one time we didn’t go, my parents opted to attend my mother’s family reunion in South Carolina. The Thanksgiving dinner came from Cracker Barrel-which I boycotted. My meal for that day consisted of Frosted Flakes and Oreos…together. I know now that those aren’t a good combination. My subsequent sickness was not the highlight of the trip,  the highlight came during the drive home. The windows in my father’s car broke and wouldn’t roll up. My brothers and I had to huddle together to remain warm with the 30 degree cold infiltrating the backseat.

Last year I was home in West Palm Beach for Thanksgiving , making it the second time I can remember being there for the holiday. And the first time I spent it with family. Spending holidays with family is usually code for me making a plate and bringing it back to my room to eat alone.

The revolutionary in me (which is sometimes subdued by the Republican in me) – is anti-Thanksgiving because of it racist and paternalistic origins. Shout out to those who participate in the National day of Mourning instead of Thanksgiving.

The Christian in me is anti-Thanksgiving because it promotes gluttony-one of the seven deadly sins.

The pork enthusiast in me is anti-Thanksgiving because it privileges turkey over the pig. And I hate Turkey…its so dry and a very awkward looking animal.

Here in Phoenix, away from family and friends, the desire to do anything on this day is at an all time low for me. None of the Thanksgiving day invites extended to me seemed appealing. Somehow eating with a bunch of semi-strangers who couldn’t or didn’t want to go home- didn’t sound too appealing. Especially since I am not sure what type of food white people eat for Thanksgiving…but I am sure it’s not fried and southern like I want it.

After reading some emails from a listserv/ yahoo group I am apart of, I reconsidered my pessimism and focused on what I am thankful for…

This year- 2010. I am thankful for two people who never ask or want me to be anything other than myself. Who give me space to grow and the courage to dream big. My biggest supporters/fans- My parents. They still manage to love me (no matter what) despite my many test of their love…

“Mom and Dad, I’m pregnant”

“Mom, I’m getting married-tomorrow”

“Mom, I am transgender”

“I’m a drug addict”

or whatever other foolishness I can make up as “confessions”

There answer is always “Ok, Tab-lets talk about it.” Despite the implausibility or unlikeliness of my “confessions”.

I will spend the majority of today home- writing papers and reading. Then dinner with my friend and her family (the only invitation from a real family/ black people I got). If I am productive enough maybe I will go out line dancing or for a drink.

To all who might be reading this- Have a Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you are spending it the way you want, with the people you want. If you can’t find anything to be thankful for, you can just be thankful for knowing Tab.




Canyon of Grand

This weekend my little brother came to visit me in Arizona. This makes him my first real visitor (people step your game up, I need company). I decided not to do any work this weekend because I don’t have a million things to do in a very limited time period- in order to spend time with Jeremiah. On Monday, we drove to the Grand Canyon.  Fun fact…it gets cold there! We spent the morning driving through sleet and snow.

Despite the weather, it was packed. It took us 45 min just to get in!

Somehow we managed to get lost looking for the rim, I mean its not like we were looking for a giant hole in the ground with a crowd of people walking in the direction of this hole…eventually we found it!

This was Jeremiah’s first real time in snow. Who would have thought he would have to come from Jersey to Arizona for snow?!?!

At least some one was able to get work done…

The weather cleared up nicely for the drive backBy the way I am now painfully aware I have no winter clothes here in AZ. I had to wear 2 pair of pants, 2 shirts, a sweatshirt and my windbreakers to stay warm!

On a good note…I was able to brave the weather, not argue with my brother and drive 8hrs (round trip) with my little brother. 🙂

Now off to do my work. Back to…


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Posted by on November 23, 2010 in America the beautiful, Arizona, my friends, Travel


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